Page 601 - Week 02 - Thursday, 9 March 2006
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In 2003, members were given games such as “Chess”, “Trivial Pursuit” and “Risk”. For Mr Quinlan, it could be a card game such as poker, as long as he has hold of the bank, or better yet Monopoly, where he would start with all the utilities and could do some smart deals in order to put hotels on expensive property, near a university perhaps.
Finally, in 2005 most members were given dolls—not I, by the way. For Mr Quinlan, it would need to be something sartorial. I was thinking of an action figure, a ninja turtle perhaps, or He-Man, with all those friends who are masters of the universe. In the end, though, I thought you cannot go past Mattel and their Barbie line, though we would need to make a few modifications. To Mr Quinlan, then, an Uncle Ken doll with a blazer, white shoes and oodles of charm, and now all the time in the world.
Mr Ted Quinlan—retirement
MS GALLAGHER (Molonglo—Minister for Education and Training, Minister for Children, Youth and Family Support, Minister for Women and Minister for Industrial Relations) (6.11): It is with regret that I rise tonight to farewell my colleague Ted Quinlan. When reflecting on how best to farewell Mr Quinlan, I thought it appropriate to use language befitting a man of his standing and status as a qualified accountant. However, I ultimately thought it would be unfair to spend five minutes speaking in a slow, boring, monosyllabic tone, given that Mr Quinlan’s preference for using flowery language in this place has proved him to be anything but a stereotypical accountant.
Phrases such as “holy grail on the hill” and “head like a Mongolian trotting duck” have echoed round this chamber for the past several years and I know that the place will not be the same without someone suggesting that John Hargreaves should purchase for himself an Aussie cliche doll. Ted’s language has been almost as flowery as the hippie costume that he wore to launch last year’s Floriade celebrations. However, I still thought it appropriate that I speak to Ted in his native tongue, so I have prepared the following based on terms in Accrual accounting: issues and policy implications for departments and non-business government entities.
It is my “fiducial duty” to say that for some time Ted has been a successful “going concern” in this place with “net profits”. He could be described as anything but a “gross margin” and his “cash is far from petty”. When reviewing the “balance sheet”, it is clear his “benefit outweighs his cost” and his “debt to credit ratio” is high. He has “significant assets”, although unfortunately his lower left leg “gearing ratio” has been “depreciating” for some time and will need an urgent “capital injection”. It is hoped this injection will improve his “price elasticity” and prevent further “negative gearing”.
Ted has several “intangible assets”. However, rumours persist about his penchant for frequent “overliquidity”, which can only be corrected by an “abatement of excess” and “absorption of working capital” to “ameliorate” the aforementioned “liquidity”. This can lead to significant “inflation”, followed by sudden “deflation” and a drop in “gross weight”.
Amongst all the talk of factions in the Labor Party, I should point out that while Ted and I have made different “factional pledges”, he has never to my knowledge made an
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