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Legislative Assembly for the ACT: 1997 Week 14 Hansard (11 December) . . Page.. 5039 ..

MR MOORE (continuing):

The last remaining shred of Labor values and sincerity are to be plucked away by appointing Ms Reilly to the new position of director of quality assurance in non-SES Public Service positions. She will have special responsibility to ensure that all ACT Public Service phones are answered 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

Mr Humphries had intended to appoint Mr Berry as legal adviser to ACTTAB, but that proposal has fallen through. I shall come back to Mr Berry later.

Now for the crossbenchers. Ms Horodny has already been removed from the game, although, so subtle was Gary, that no-one even noticed that he had appointed her to become a very private citizen who puts family ahead of politics - a rare exit indeed.

Ms Tucker is also to be lured out of the way by appointing her as the ACT Community Advocate, a position to which she is well suited, despite its lack of statutory independence. Members may be aware that she will need to share lodgings with a past member of this house, someone who has previously fallen to one of Gary's plans.

Mr Osborne is to become a publicity officer for James Hird, the new captain of the Essendon football team, chaplain for the Australian Rules football teams, and marriage counsellor to all football players in all football codes as well as all members and staff in this place. Paul is going to have to spend some time in the theological college to learn Latin and theology, rather than relying on the ability of his staff members in matters theological. Paulus meus amicus. He will eventually learn what that means.

I apparently am to be offered the position of commissioner for aged persons care, with a special job of overseeing a new hospice which has a goal of setting a national benchmark for turning over patients as quickly as possible. Apparently my colleague Mr Humphries believes I have some personal expertise in ensuring that the elderly live long and productive lives.

It has been arranged that the Speaker, Greg Cornwell, is leaving us to become leader of the ACT branch of Australians for a constitutional monarchy. He intends to protest outside the constitutional convention at Old Parliament House in February. He is not expected to be waving an Aboriginal flag whilst doing so.

Louis Littlewood will be appointed ACT commissioner for dispute resolution.

Trevor Kaine, finally, after the manipulations of Mr Humphries through many of his business contacts which have resulted in so many earlier offers, has decided to bow out and to accept appointment as manager of the newly privatised Canberra Airport where he will be able to test the facilities and the skies above Canberra to his heart's content.

Minister Bill Stefaniak will soon be appointed as the ACT's next Director of Public Prosecutions, where his reputation as the hanging prosecutor will set the tone for a long period of crime deterrence and, no doubt, increased public safety on our streets and sporting fields.

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