Page 6160 - Week 14 - Thursday, 9 December 2010
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would use one of them to have a pair of shoulder-mounted rear vision mirrors to keep an eye on the lean and hungry Alistair Coe.
I also considered what the collective noun for a bunch of Liberals would be.
Mr Seselja: You’re obsessed with us, John.
MR HARGREAVES: I am. Ever since the Amish people were destroyed in the wars and things, I have needed someone else to pick on—and you are it.
So I considered what the collective noun was. Is it a larder of Liberals? No. I didn’t think so. A litany of Liberals? Maybe. How about a libation of Liberals—thinking of Brendan? No, not anymore. I figured a lump of Liberals is probably about as good as I can get.
But I did the same for the Greens, Mr Speaker, and I had too much choice. A garden of Greens? No. That has been done before. A grumble of Greens? No; Ms Le Couteur’s smile put paid to that one. A forest of Greens? Too predictable, that one. Yes, a salad of Greens. That will do me.
So, now, what did the Greens ask the Christmas fairy for? Poor old Ms Le Couteur; she has got hers. Did they ask that all the government fleet cars be smart cars, running on biofuels made from collections of chook poo collected from former Nimbin free-range hippies living in yurts on the site vacated by Pace chook farms?
Mr Speaker, what would you ask for, though? I have noticed that sometimes in your car space there resides a vehicle with a canoe on the roof—a red one if I am not mistaken. Could you be described as a pessimist perhaps? Or would you ask for clairvoyant powers, or did you really want a decent lake for a triathlon—a lake that goes all the way to Queanbeyan perhaps?
Now Ms Bresnan: she would surely ask the Christmas fairy for a fitness centre for the Assembly, featuring “Bollywood for biggies” weight reduction classes. Any contenders? Ms Hunter wants only one thing in life: consensus parliamentarianism with consultation in the contemplative stage accompanied by complete consideration of contentious contradictions.
My colleagues and I, being the collective decision-making family that we are, ask only for respect, recognition of excellence, appreciation of our work ethic and applause for our general bonhomie and zen-like inner beauty.
Mr Hanson: And a nice glass of red wine.
MR HARGREAVES: Coming from a teetotaller, you, I wouldn’t even ask for one, because you would not know the difference between a glass of red wine and a glass of tomato sauce.
Mr Speaker, in closing I would like to express my thanks and appreciation for all of those that support this parliament. In the past I have named such people as Ray “the fisho” Blundell, “superMax” and many others who make this such a great place. The
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