Page 5763 - Week 15 - Thursday, 10 December 2009
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On the crossbench we find the green Christmas elves, diminutive figures, who, in fiction at least, live with Santa Claus, making toys in the workshop to be distributed to the people. Whilst I will not judge the validity of this metaphor when applied in reality, I would like to wish my colleagues on the crossbench a very merry Christmas and say that I appreciate their passion and their conviction and look forward to their input to the continual process that we all work for, which is aimed at improving the lives of the people of Canberra in 2010 and beyond.
I was running out of mythical connections with Christmas; so for the opposition members, I settled on a variation of the elves theme and considered the Liberal members as Snow White’s dwarfs. I am aware there are seven dwarfs but there are only six of you—thank goodness, otherwise we may not be here. Anyway, I would like to convey my best wishes for this festive season to the six dwarfs in the opposition.
Working across the frontbench, there is Sleepy Seselja. That is the most aptly labelled dwarf, because we know from here that he spends so much time having a zzz that one can only presume that that title is right. Sneezy Smyth, when he is under pressure and his eyes close for longer than it takes to blink, I am always under the impression he is about to sneeze. Then there is Doc Hanson, not just because he is the shadow minister for health but also because the colonel would feel uncomfortable without a title or rank of some description.
Mrs Dunne, I am sorry but Grumpy came to mind, consistently warning Snow White of the threat caused by, well, pretty much anything and always grumpy with Santa and Mrs Claus and us little helpers, particularly helper AG. Working from the left at the back is Happy Coe. His enduring smile would be quite pleasant if we did not have to listen to him reel off lists of things so often. As far as the leadership of the dwarfs is concerned, young Alistair, may it be a happy Coe lucky 2010 for you.
Finally we have Bashful Doszpot, on the surface at least. Bashful Doszpot seems too shy to shoot for the top spot. Or is he? Best wishes for Christmas and the new year when maybe, just maybe, Bashful Doszpot will be anything but bashful.
Before I close, I would like to thank my staff. It is their first year, this year. I thank Andrew Hunter, my chief of staff, and my other two staff, Charles Njora and Frank Gaffa. Last but not least, I thank my husband, who is my constant support and my strongest political critic. Happy Christmas to everyone.
MR DOSZPOT (Brindabella) (6.44): I am almost speechless after that speech of Ms Porter’s.
Mr Coe: You are too bashful.
MR DOSZPOT: Yes, I am too bashful to try to comment on it. I think you are very brave to take on the opportunities that were presented to you but not brave enough to, I think, go the full hog. I will not try to emulate you this year. Next year I might.
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