Page 4847 - Week 15 - Thursday, 8 December 1994
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ADJOURNMENT
Motion (by Mr Berry) proposed:
That the Assembly do now adjourn.
Valedictory
MR MOORE (5.14): In our final Christmas adjournment, I would like to tell a little story, Madam Speaker, titled "Away in a Manger". Once upon a starry night, the angels gathered in the heavens to herald an amazing event. The spokesperson for the angels, Archangel McRae, announced that we were all to be upstanding; that something pretty momentous was about to happen. Just then, Mary - Rosemary - struggled into view, highly pregnant with child, and accompanied by her long-suffering husband, Gazza. Archangel McRae led them to a stable owned and operated, at very reasonable prices, by a Roman, Antonio De Domenico. He assured them that there was hot and cold running water, and an en suite and room service. It transpired that this turned out to be cold leaks from the roof, hot leaks from the animals, an outhouse and a dial-a-pitta down the road.
Not long after they settled into their straw accommodation, a baby boy was born, screaming and protesting at the top of his lungs. A centurion named Waynus Berrius passed by, heard the noise and fell to his knees, claiming that this was the prophecy come true. "Indeed, the Messiah has been born, as was predicted. In fact, many ducats were laid on this bet", he proclaimed. "Messiah? Messiah?", asked the baby incredulously - not bad for a baby. "What's that, ma?". Just then, the heavens broke open, and the choir of cheeky cherubim began the chorus of the angels. "David, my son, he thinks that you are the god that we have all waited for", his mother replied, and then went on to explain that the centurion had overreacted. "Huh", said midwife Kate, who had finally arrived, wearing her white robes of office. "Anybody would think that it was unusual. The birth of a man who thinks he's god isn't such a rare event". "Have the authorities on accommodation been notified of this extra person living in this stable?", asked centurion Cornwell. "I thought not", he said, as he turned on his heels and went looking for King Herod.
Just as everyone was settling down to a nice, peaceful evening, there arrived three wise guys who had come from the left bank, the right strip, and the middle ground. "Hail", said King Terry, "I bring you gifts from the Orient. Please accept this myrrh as a token of our esteem". "Myrrh? Myrrh?", asked David. "What sort of stuff is that?". "This substance has wonderful properties for healing the sick, alleviating the pain of the suffering, and assisting the up-tight to relax. Here, you put it up your nose, like this". "No, you don't; no, you don't", roared Archangel McRae, "There'll be none of that here. No nose is good nose". King Terry stormed off in a rage as King Trevor presented his gift. "Here is a silver carriage to complement your new position in society. I know someone who deals in secondhand donkeys to take that heap standing outside off your hands". "Wonderful", said Rosemary. "Gazza, would you please strip the donkey of its blanket and put it in the new carriage". The dejected donkey stood still. "Oh, no", he thought, "here it comes - the Gazza Strip".
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