Page 4765 - Week 15 - Thursday, 16 December 1993
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Comrade Lamont's suburb - he is gone; where is he? - would have lots of bus-stops, but not many buses, and a six-theatre cinema complex. As the location of the headquarters for the Trades and Labour Council, it would, however, have to be located well away from the suburb of Follett. Downtown Szuty would be a very lively place, full of colourful characters, skateboard ramps and graffiti-enriched public facilities. It would also have more than its fair share of jewellery shops and cosmetics outlets.
Madam Speaker, can anyone doubt the location of the suburb of Ellis? Indeed, Madam Speaker, I understand that Ms Ellis is so omnipresent in Tuggeranong, so well known for appearing, without warning and unannounced, in people's living rooms and backyards down there, that I feel sure that in future the very word "Tuggeranong" will be modified to reflect her passion for the valley. Her name will live forever in the area renamed Annettanong. I cannot be so definite about the location of Carnell, Madam Speaker. Its site is to be determined by referendum.
Mr Stevenson: Optional or preferential.
MR HUMPHRIES: Optional preferential, of course. I do not foresee a site being chosen for Wood until Mr Lamont and Mr Townsend get around to approving it. The danger, of course, is that Wood might become a down-market version of Forrest. The suburb of De Domenico is to be one of Canberra's smaller urban areas, located at the big end of town. It will have a cheap swimming pool, a private bus service and plenty of ethnic eateries. The suburb of Connolly will be located just about everywhere, with lots of knocked-up-overnight petrol stations. Petrol will be very cheap here, but regrettably the proprietors do not make any money from this as they are held up every second night. Moore, Madam Speaker, will be a lakeside suburb. On which side of the lake? That I cannot tell you, Madam Speaker. The funny thing about Moore is that it will change sides from time to time.
The suburb of Grassby will, like Szuty, be one of Canberra's more colourful areas. It will have lots of winding roads which seem to take a long time to get to the final point of your destination, and will provide views which no other Canberra suburb can provide. Hansard reporters will choose not to live in Grassby. The people who patronise the jewellery shops of Szuty will actually live in Grassby. The suburb of Cornwell will be a quiet suburb - with no public house, no primary school, no sex shops and no brothels. At this rate I expect that there will be no residents either.
Mr Berry has been waiting patiently over there for his chance, and here it is. Berry will be an exclusive place in which to live, Madam Speaker. (Extension of time granted) In deference to Mr Berry's career, those groups he has made it his life's work to oppose will be excluded from that suburb. Thus it will be illegal for doctors, tobacconists, hoteliers, the ALP Right, the Liberal Party, representatives of the TWU, the AMEU, the NCPA, the AFP, the Right to Life Association, the Industrial Relations Commission, the ACTTAB, the Trades and Labour Council or members of the kick boxing fraternity to buy houses in this suburb. You may think, Madam Speaker, that a suburb with only Sue Robinson living in it would be less than viable, but it will be exclusive.
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