Page 1960 - Week 07 - Wednesday, 23 June 2021
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Issue 2: attitudes towards male carers. Although no-one said so directly, I sensed a fairly general attitude from people providing support to us that as a male I could not be expected to provide for a range of Kathy’s needs; e.g. I was quizzed about why I had not asked for help with cleaning the house and other domestic chores, and I was questioned about my understanding of Kathy’s personal needs such as with washing and toileting. We were married in 1973 and she made it quite clear she was more comfortable with me helping her in these deeply personal ways than she would have been with a stranger, female or male, inside our house. We both understood that in hospital she would be supported by nursing staff, but even there I regularly helped her with washing, toileting and eating. I strongly suggest that the training for service providers is enhanced to ensure they can more accurately read the competence of the carer. This specifically includes training to recognise unconscious biases (this could be modelled on programs to weed out sex and racial discrimination).
Another carer, Diamond Kary, told me:
I am a full-time primary carer for my elderly mother. I have discovered you have to develop pretty big shoulders to undertake the care of a loved one.
As a carer I have experienced loneliness, frustration and exhaustion. It is one of the hardest and most challenging things that you will ever do. It is also rewarding and a privilege, as you learn about what unconditional love really means and I am much closer to my mother as a result of this journey.
My love for her knows no bounds. It is also very important that I sometimes need a little time out to care for myself so I can give the best care that I can to my loved one. My Christian faith has also strengthened and has given me strength.
Another carer told me:
I am the carer for my adult daughter who has a severe chronic medical condition with resultant disabilities. She is also a single Mum.
As her carer I have never been asked by health or support personnel exactly what care I need to provide for her. And yet she often says that my care is just as important to her health and wellbeing as all her medications and therapies. My capacity to provide her with care has never been considered in any health or support management plans or hospital discharge planning.
My advocacy for her when engaging with the complex health and disability sectors, particularly while she is very sick and vulnerable, is often ignored and not respected.
Carer Craig Cormick summed it up:
This Bill is very important for carers as it not only brings the ACT in line with other jurisdictions but helps the lives of carers by providing some support and recognition for them in the vital work they do in caring for some of the most vulnerable people in society. Our community is stronger for such a Bill.
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